is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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