Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
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