I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
