She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
