I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
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