I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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