So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
