My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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