quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
