I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
