Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
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