Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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