oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
