Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
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