I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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