ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
