I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
