What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
