Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
