Nicole vs. Life
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
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Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
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I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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