I wannas sexs uuuuu
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
