I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
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he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
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I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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