I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
