i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
