Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I fill condoms, not promises.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize