would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
