Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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