My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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