don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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