he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
