hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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