Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
