Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
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