I heard we made out
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
