Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
