Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
