so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?