So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.