I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.