she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
