If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
only if we run a train.
done.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
