How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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