Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
