Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize