i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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