No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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