The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize