I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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