i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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