Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize