come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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