Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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