I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
