I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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