You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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