I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
