Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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