We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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