Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
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I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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