I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
