I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
