so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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