Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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