By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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