I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
