I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
