Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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