Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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