What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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