Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
