Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
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